Murder most foul: An Oscar in the making

Of recent, my thoughts have been beset by the way people have been reacting to certain emotive news subject featuring Oscar Pistorius. Here is a person, disabled as he may be, that in the wink of an eye, has undergone a life changing experience. The incident in question refers to the ‘alleged’ murder of an up-and-coming female model at the point of his gun. The why it happened is the current furore of public speculation that is being driven to insanity by the media sharks, hungry for sensationalism, melodrama and sales.

In taking the time to read all the news reports on the Oscar troubles and their associated public commentaries, one gets the feel that all is not well in society at large. In breaking down the commentaries into their various headings, which range from Religious pundits quoting scripture and their brand of theological edits to explain or bless the embattled soul, to the downright obnoxious who relish in making what-really-happened extrapolations fact based on mostly yellow-page styled journalism, and their own narrow life experiences.

Of course, in between all the ‘listen-to-me’ commentaries, one does find the down-to-earth type comments that express sadness, disbelief, scepticism, and pose elucidating questions relating to the muddled hype traveling the internet, the printed word, and the airwaves.

To my mind, the issue arises from the inclination we have of putting people on pedestals based on certain of their witnessed above-normal human prowess while casually ignoring, or not taking into account, their very human side. A side that plagues Homo Sapiens across all walks of life. Had Oscar or his girlfriend been one of the average billions, would the dastardly incident have caused a stir or even the lifting of an eyebrow?

What is on the table, although complex in nature is a simple question of a human being, being human. Oscar is a real human being that has to content with real-life fears, aspirations, mental torments: depression; misery; despair; despondency; and bouts of ego.

Although there is a growing faction of activists who feel that the female girlfriend is being side-lined by the attention the fallen superstar is receiving while the victim lies dead, it cannot be denied that while she was an up-and-coming cover-model superstar, Oscar is the newsmaker of the day: he broke the moulds of human perceptions, he made history and he moved the human imagination to greater heights enforcing the new-age ethos that nothing is impossible.

Yet the pedestal was created, assembled, manufactured and cemented in place, firmly affixing the feet-of-clay of the disabled superstar to it. Is this because we need heroes to give credence to our feeble lives? Is this because we need hope to an otherwise humdrum existence? Is this because we need something to grab-onto which seemingly makes sense and affirms our desire to a better life?

There is of course the possibility that all the adoration and adulation that Oscar received over his period of fame played havoc on his frail human psyche which led to the development of the commonly known prima-donna syndrome: a rather common human weakness that has manifested itself in many Hollywood stars, musical idols and political statespersons. 

The way forward for him is going to be tough and brutal. Fortunately he has the money to employ a high-powered lawyer which by all accounts, gives him a decisive edge in maneuvering through the mazes of legalese and jurisprudence processes.

The way forward for the hapless family of the deceased model is likewise going to be filled with much despair, depression, anguish, sleepless nights and questions.

To me, the bottom line to the entire fracas is never to put a human being on a pedestal for in the end, it is only a human being. Yes, appreciate their achievements and accomplishments but there is where it should end.

I Am In Love With Me (or why narcissists always rise to positions of power?)

In this world of new age philosophies, gobbledegook optimism, politically correct challenges, the glass is half full euphemisms and there-are-no-problems syndrome, Narcissism rules supreme.

What used to be viewed as a non-curable character flaw is now viewed as something to strive for or to live by. The media live by it, marketing strives on it and the corporate spaces abound with it. The megalomaniac philanthropist, Mr. Bill Gates, called it ‘tough love.’

During the sixties, the ‘I’ philosophy raised its ugly head in the shape of a smiley face. All the sudden it was not on to think of family or society as a comforting safe space. The ‘I’ was elevated beyond all hereto known values. Suddenly it was cool to claim; I am worth it, it is my life, what is in it for me, I am numero uno, greed is king, et al.

It is understood that human beings are social creatures that require frequent validation of their self worth. Social interactions usually take care of this need through normal everyday dialogue, debate, interchange of ideas, creative processes and the like.

Unfortunately, these so called normal processes, do not suffice in a narcissist world. The need to be superior is the primary force; a force that involves the covering up of feelings (a sign of weakness) while fostering feelings of self-importance and self-appeasement (a sign of grandiosity.) In other words, I am, I can…when I was …, I, I, I.

The plus side of narcissism is that it is an energetic, motivated, assertive and competitive condition. All who suffer from narcissism are individuals (a very important asset) who value creativity, who strive to always improve on themselves and who constantly view mistakes as non-entities. They also value intellectual performance above all else.

No that bad, one would think. The down side is that a narcissist will internalise failure to the extent of hostility towards others who are perceived to be their betters and thus will externalise blame on all negative events.

In other words, a narcissist will rationalise or rewrite history in their favour: “ They freely transform failures into successes, and construct lengthy and intricate rationalisations that inflate their self-worth or justify what they believe is their right.” Dr Theodore Milton. Dr. Roger Davis further pointed out that narcissists, “remember the past as they would have wanted it to occur, not as it actually happened.”

When confronted, narcissist will overtly express themselves in a self-justificating rage, character assassination and projection or deflection e.g. you are just envious.

They also exhibit traits such as; self-focus in interpersonal exchanges, difficulty with empathy, hypersensitivity to any perceived insults, a vulnerability to shame rather than guilt, subtle but persistent bragging, expert claims to most things, denials of remorse and gratitude, etc, etc.

All in all, not a nice condition at all.

Yet, this is what is being projected and inferred as to what one must aspire to.

The sixties ‘smiley face’ was an icon to the art of positive thought given the wars that were being fought at the time, and the impact they were having on society at large. Narcissism was never the intended outcome.

But as usual, the human condition will rise to the occasion and turn all good intentions to hell.

Food for Thought: The strange thing about narcissism is that it needs enablers to feed its need for attention and feeling of superiority. One craves power the other, security.

For me, give me a juicy portion of t-bone and chips, crème brûlée, and all is well with me.

Mwah!